Sorry

I know it's been a while since my last post! I've been kinda sad I guess. I really miss my daughter and want her (and my husband) to come home. They've been gone way longer than I've ever anticipated, and it breaks my heart.
My husband has been doing some needed work for his family. He will be home soon though, and I count down the days until I can hold them again in my arms. I will never let them get away from me again like this. Never.

Meanwhile, they are both doing great! Sasha has been spoiled rotten by her grandma and grandpa. She's the center of attention of so many people. She has swimming pools, sand boxes, a new bed, and even her own four-wheeler. She has a whole shelf to herself in the kitchen pantry and is free to go into the pantry and grab whatever food strikes her fancy. She loves that freedom, so I'm going to have to do something similar at our home.
She still has her days where she eats well, and other days where she doesn't. Today, for example, she ate a TON of spanish rice for lunch. 5 helpings! The other day she ate a huge french toast breakfast.
I mentioned that her grandma bought Sasha a bed. The bed was placed right next to the bed my husband sleeps in, and Sasha loved it. When it was first set up, she played with it for a while. She liked to get into and out of the bed, then arrange the sheets and blankets, then put her dolls into and out of it as if she was tucking them in. She would lay down in the bed and say "nini" then she'd pretend she was sleeping. She knew the bed was hers and what it was for. Then when it was bedtime, she went to sleep no problem. She's been sleeping in her little bed for the past week or so with no issues.
Her night waking has gotten better. I know I haven't discussed it much in the blog here, but Sasha has never slept through the night. I know sleeping through the night (STTN) is a big issue for some parents. Sasha has never done it. As a matter of fact, she wakes up many times a night, usually for a drink of water, juice, or milk. My husband and mother-in-law have been working with Sasha on that.

Anyways, they're doing well.
Me, I'm terribly depressed without them. I don't think my husband understands how badly I miss my child. I know he means well, but he tries to reassure me that they are in good hands. It doesn't help. Perhaps I'm just selfish, but I am a mother and I want my child back like yesterday. I am terribly worried whether this long of a time away from my child has damaged my relationship with my daughter. She's so young. When I first got out to see her, she seemed like she had forgotten me, and it broke my heart so bad. I'm so scared that will happen again.
But there is nothing I can do. I can't force them home. I can beg but otherwise I can't go and get them (no vacation days available). All I can do is put on a strong face and pretend it's all okay. That she's fine without me.
Anyways, I'll probably delete that last paragraph later.