The biting continues

Yesterday, Sasha bit me every single nursing session. Eventually I just gave up and started pumping. She had mostly the bottle. She doesn't bite me when she is sleepy so at least those nursing sessions that put her to sleep are still safe.

So for now at least she's still getting the benefits of nursing except I have to pump. It's a real pain but I really don't want to buy formula after all the expense I've invested in nursing (pumps, nursing clothes, nursing bras, etc, the price of which added up and I justified buying by all the money I'd save by bfing).

The decline of my nursing relationship

Sasha is biting me when nursing...and I mean hard. She clamps down with that sharp new tooth of hers and just doesn't let go, like a vice grip. She has drawn blood a few times. I have a sore. I'm afraid she's going to take off my nipple.

The moment she bites me, I lose my mind. Everything I ever planned to do when she bites is out the window. It was so easy to say "just smush her face into your breast when she bites", or "just take her off and say no". But when she bites and won't let go, I am incapable of logical or conscious thought when she bites, just involuntary self-protective reaction. I end up screaming in pain and wrestling with her for my boob back, and she gets understandably scared and starts crying. The only control I have, if I am braced for it, is to keep from screaming or hurting her.

I am watching our nursing relationship decline and I am so sad I am near tears. It used to be so happy and relaxing for both of us. Now I am dreading every nursing session and I think she is starting to also. I really wanted to make it to 1 year. Maybe 6 months isn't so bad.

I am thinking of maybe just pumping only.

I've already read a bunch of advice, and it's no help when I am in the moment she bites and can barely control my screams. There really doesn't seem to be anything I can do other than endure the bites and that is just causing both me and my daughter to be tense and scared during nursing sessions. I don't know how on earth the human race made it this far; this nursing stuff is hard.

I'm just sad. And scared. I want my old toothless baby back but that's not possible. I wish she would just stop on her own so we could go back to the way we were.

One recovery down

Princess Sasha at 6 weeks old.

Today I came home to a still-sick baby and a tired husband. Sasha had not slept much during the night, husband reported. To me, that meant she would sleep well with me during the daytime. So I snuggled my Sasha and I nursed her as we drifted off to sleep in the bedroom.
I woke up and felt like I was being watched. Sasha was beaming me a huge smile. I'm not sure how long she was awake before I woke up, and I couldn't help but wonder how long she was flashing that big smile at me. She shook in delight when she saw that I was awake and looking at her. She had my full attention and I realized Hey, she doesn't seem very sick anymore. We played together for a little while until I finally decided to get her up and change her diaper. I took her temperature and it was back to normal! 98.4F. A miraculous 'overnight' recovery...I say overnight since we sleep during the day and are awake at night so the daytime is like our night. Yeah it's all backwards.
My 12 year old daughter was already home from school. She decided to practice her bass by giving us all a concert. Sasha was highly amused and watched her big sister intently.
The only problem today was the fact that my dear husband didn't get much sleep and he is definitely coming down with the flu. He didn't seem very comfortable at all and I felt bad for him, especially since he would not get any time off. I had to work tonight and Sasha is a strict boss. She doesn't cut him any slack even if he is sick or tired.
At work, I chatted with my husband. It was a quiet night. He said that Sasha was a sweetie so at least the night was bearable. She is back to her old self.
I am glad to have my princess back.

Sick Baby and one long day

Yesterday was quite eventful, to say the least. I came home from work at 6am and noticed my darling 6-month old daughter Sasha was warm. My dear husband had been telling me all night that she was especially crabby, and wouldn't sleep, therefore I had a tired crabby baby and husband on my hands. As I snuggled up to Sasha, I realized she seemed especially warm...warmer than usual. I took her axial temperature and it was elevated, about 100F degrees. DH and I discussed whether to take her to the doctor or not. I was supposed to have a training class/meeting at work from noon until 4pm, plus I had to work at night. We decided that we didn't think the 100F temperature warranted a doctor visit quite yet. Instead we would observe her.
I nursed her to sleep and we took our nap. I woke up about 2 hours later and Sasha was burning up. I took her temperature and it had elevated to 101.1F. She seemed to be quite unhappy so I decided to call her doctor's office. They asked me if I had given her baby tylenol yet. Frankly, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. It's been so long since I've taken care of a sick baby.. At least 12 years. Sasha hadn't been sick ever so I just wasn't thinking. But now that they brought up the idea of tylenol, it sounded good to me, except when was I going to find the time to go to the drugstore to buy some? They said they would be able to see Sasha at 10:45am so we agreed to an appointment with the doctor at that time. That gave us 1.5 hours to snuggle.
I took my poor sick baby to the doctor's office and the moment Sasha saw the nurse she started wailing and screaming. She's had a lot of stranger anxiety lately. I thought she was too young for it but I guess she thought otherwise. The same thing happened with her 5 month doctor visit. She cried at the sight of the nurse and doctor at that too. So again, this visit was conducted over the cries and wails of an upset baby Sasha.
The doctor checked her out and concluded it was just the flu, and why don't I give her some baby tylenol?
I considered stopping at the drug store to buy some baby tylenol on the way home, but the thought of taking Sasha into and out of her car seat one more time just didn't sound like a good idea. Instead I went home, nursed Sasha, and had barely enough time to get myself ready and out the door for my work meeting.
The class let me out at 2pm instead of 4pm, so I was able to get the baby's medicine on the way home from work.
I got about 5 more hours of sleep in before I had to report to work that night. DH noted that he wasn't feeling well and started showing signs of getting the flu as well. Cassie was the first one to get it and I was just recovered with my round of it. Oh well, looks like more fun in store for us in the near future as baby and dh fight it.

First Post!

Here it is: First Post!
There, got that out of my system.
I think an introduction is in order. Sasha is my second daughter and this blog is an effort to chronicle her growth and mine. She will be six months old next week, as she was born on September 14th.
I'll do flashbacks from the past 6 months when I have the time otherwise I'll just hit the ground running.