More Biting

Well, Sasha's biting is back again. Not as bad as it was when Sasha first got her new teeth, but it is still driving me insane enough to consider switching to exclusively pumping for a while. You would think that I would get used to it. That I wouldn't feel like crying when it happens. It makes me so emotional and I don't quite understand my emotional response or why my emotional response is so intense. It's not just the pain, although trust me it hurts as bad as it sounds when an infant decides to clamp down on your nipple as hard as she can with brand new, never used sharp baby teeth. Maybe it's because I have to actually wrestle with my baby to get my nipple back? Maybe it's the sudden adrenaline rush, followed by having to supress my every natural response to kick the ass of whatever is hurting me because what is hurting me is an incredibly cute and sweet laughing baby? Maybe it's the graphic image I get in my head of my baby biting my nipple off and laughing about it. Or maybe it's just a remnant of ppd, of which I think I might still be suffering from a little bit. And frankly, I do feel a little violated. I know I'm wrong, but sometimes it feels like she's mocking me.
So now, our nursing sessions are sort of analogous to those old west stand-offs. You know, the duels in the street where the gunslingers face each other and wait until some signal to draw their weapons? They just stand there twitching, watching each other, waiting. I don't know if she's quite related to my yelping in pain to the times when she's bitten me, so perhaps she thinks I'm prone to randomly screaming and it makes her nervous. I think she's starting to make the connection: "When I bite mom, it makes her make really neat noises. Let's see that again!". I applaud her cleverness but her experimentation still hurts.
Okay, so I think that I can figure out a pattern. I know she never bites me when she's about to fall asleep, or when she's very hungry. I listen to her swallow out of habit so I can tell when she is done eating. Most of her bites occur right as she decides she is done eating. Otherwise, if I this gets worse again, I'll have to see about switching to pumping for all but her bedtime feedings.

I didn't have any original nursing goals in mind. I think my goal is for Sasha to never have to drink a drop of formula. I don't mind having to pump to accomplish that goal if I have to. It would be easier on us if we continued nursing. Once she turns a year old, we can start to gradually switch her to cow's milk, so I guess that means 5 more months of nursing or pumping. In that case, we're over half way there.

Biting update

Thought I'd give an update. It's been two more days and suddenly like a miracle, the biting ended!

I am so happy I could cry. I didn't know how much I'd miss nursing or how lucky I was to have such a problem-free nursing relationship with my baby until this problem occured. I don't know what solved it. Perhaps it was teething. Or maybe it was all the yelps of pain that scared her and I was lucky she didn't find it funny? I did eventually get used to the biting enough to do the 'smother her with my breast' trick so perhaps that helped. I had two days of almost all pumping and bottle feeding and I think she missed the nursing too as she kept staring at my chest and trying to move my shirt, lol.

So I guess for anyone who has this biting problem, I can totally sympathise. It seems to go away on its own and hopefully it will stay away...at least until those top teeth come in :P

The biting continues

Yesterday, Sasha bit me every single nursing session. Eventually I just gave up and started pumping. She had mostly the bottle. She doesn't bite me when she is sleepy so at least those nursing sessions that put her to sleep are still safe.

So for now at least she's still getting the benefits of nursing except I have to pump. It's a real pain but I really don't want to buy formula after all the expense I've invested in nursing (pumps, nursing clothes, nursing bras, etc, the price of which added up and I justified buying by all the money I'd save by bfing).

The decline of my nursing relationship

Sasha is biting me when nursing...and I mean hard. She clamps down with that sharp new tooth of hers and just doesn't let go, like a vice grip. She has drawn blood a few times. I have a sore. I'm afraid she's going to take off my nipple.

The moment she bites me, I lose my mind. Everything I ever planned to do when she bites is out the window. It was so easy to say "just smush her face into your breast when she bites", or "just take her off and say no". But when she bites and won't let go, I am incapable of logical or conscious thought when she bites, just involuntary self-protective reaction. I end up screaming in pain and wrestling with her for my boob back, and she gets understandably scared and starts crying. The only control I have, if I am braced for it, is to keep from screaming or hurting her.

I am watching our nursing relationship decline and I am so sad I am near tears. It used to be so happy and relaxing for both of us. Now I am dreading every nursing session and I think she is starting to also. I really wanted to make it to 1 year. Maybe 6 months isn't so bad.

I am thinking of maybe just pumping only.

I've already read a bunch of advice, and it's no help when I am in the moment she bites and can barely control my screams. There really doesn't seem to be anything I can do other than endure the bites and that is just causing both me and my daughter to be tense and scared during nursing sessions. I don't know how on earth the human race made it this far; this nursing stuff is hard.

I'm just sad. And scared. I want my old toothless baby back but that's not possible. I wish she would just stop on her own so we could go back to the way we were.