31 March 2009

I don't want to forget this

Last night, as I tucked Sasha in to bed, we had a very heartwarming conversation that I never want to forget. I knew that in the morning, I would have to take Sasha to the airport, so I was especially emotional and trying to enjoy my last "nini" with her before we are reunited again in Montana.
Sasha had been intermittently crabby all day due to her vaccination, which is very very out of character for her. She's usually darned near to a perfect angel. I guess it was a blessing in disguise to see how crabby she can potentially be, so I can appreciate how well behaved she is all the time. But I hated knowing that she wasn't feeling well.
At bedtime, I was tucking her in. She was a bit more antsy than usual. Normally, I ask her what songs she wants me to sing, and she makes song requests/demands like I'm some sort of jukebox.
But this night was different. She sang the songs to me instead.
She sang many songs, the usual night time songs: Twinkle Twinkle, Close your eyes and sleep (from Yo Gabba Gabba) and Nap Time (also Yo Gabba Gabba), 5 little monkeys, ABC's.
Then she started to wind herself down. We were laying down and she turned to me and said, "I want a hug Mom".
She gave me a hug, but wasn't happy with it. She kept tugging at me to move closer to her. "You're heavy mom!", she said and she wasn't happy until I put my head on top of hers. She gave me big hugs and kisses.
"I love you mom", she said.
"I love you too, Sasha", I answered back.
"You love me? You love Sasha?", she asked, and I replied that I really really did love her very much.
"I'm happy", she sighed. "Are you happy Mom? Be happy okay?"
I wondered whether she knew how anxious I was that she was leaving the next morning. It really seemed like she was comforting me and I found myself silently crying, making sure that she didn't notice.
I think I accidentally said aloud that I miss her already. She replied, "you miss me? You miss me mom." She repeated that about 7 times and told me to "be happy okay?".
She fell asleep hugging me.
I love this child so very very much.

2 comments:

Dawn said...

Awww! That is very sweet!

AnJanoodleroni said...

Awww. I know this is so hard for you...Hopefully you will see her very very soon. Remember her main wish though, "Be happy mommy" :)