Things I've learned

My older daughter, Cassie, is 14 years old. It was quite a long time ago that she was Sasha's age. I was a young mother, made some good decisions and bad. And I learned.
One of the things I did with Cassie that went well was something that I learned from a book. I think it was called, "How to speak so your kids will listen". It was popular when Cassie was still a toddler.
Anyways, what I did with Cassie was that when she was dealing with feelings of any kind, I would vocalize to her what I thought she was feeling. If she was happy, I'd say something like, "Oh you seem so happy! Are you happy?". If she was throwing a tantrum because she wanted something she couldn't have, I would repeat like a broken record: "Oh you are really upset because you want my soda. You really really want my soda but you're mad that you can't have it. Is that right?". The concept was to teach children HOW to vocalize their feelings. And while it didn't mean that I was going to cave in and give her the contraband soda, she knew that I understood what she wanted and how she felt. And she could learn to label a feeling with a word.
I do think it helped. Cassie was a wise old soul even in her baby and toddler years. She was a precocious early talker with a huge vocabulary. She would say things to me like, "Mom, I'm very upset with you right now", instead of just throwing herself to the ground and screaming. Sure she still threw herself down to the ground sometimes, but I really do feel it helped a lot! And as a teen today, she is very eloquent with words and feelings.

This is definitely something that I continue to do with Sasha. It worked very well with Cassie, and it seems to be doing well for Sasha as well. Sasha is very curious about feelings lately. She tells us when she is happy, sad, mad. She clearly tells us what she wants. She often asks us how we are feeling! Random strangers in the elevator get the grand inquisition into how they are feeling too! Hah she's like a two year old shrink.

There are plenty of other lessons I learned from my first child too. I taught Cassie how to read when she was four years old using the book, "Why Johnny Can't Read", an awesome book that uses phonics. I could hand her a newspaper and have her read any random article out loud, regardless of what it was about. Sure she didn't understand economics, but do any of us really? :P Anyways, I will definitely definitely teach reading again with Sasha.

Also, time really went by so quickly with Cassie. It really does feel like I was just sending her off to kindergarten the other day, and now she's in high school. It's crazy how fast it all goes, so enjoy every second! Take tons of pictures. Write all those stories down. The memories fade with time. It's hard for me to remember all those funny cute little things Cassie did when she was a kid, which is why I over-compensate and over-document this time with Sasha. Another lesson learned.